Filthy Bill Does Everyone But His Mother OK. Your whore of a girlfriend just broke up with you, after a year of living together, to go out with some asshole she met at the club last weekend while you were busy puking in the parking lot. Needless to say you are a little bit pissed, and you'd like to show her that you don't fucking need her anyway. What better way than to go out and fuck every girl you possibly can in as short a time as humanly possible. This is your apartment. Things have gotten a little messy around here since the bitch left you. Dishes are piled high in the sink. Dirty laundry is scattered about. Also here is a polaroid camera and a vibrator. You can move north and east. east (Getting off the couch first) You move east. You are in your bathroom. A medicine cabinet hangs on the wall. You can move east and west. open medicine cabinet You open the medicine cabinet. A razor and a shaving cream are inside the medicine cabinet. get all You take the razor and the shaving cream from the medicine cabinet. wear shaving cream You put on the shaving cream. shave You look 100% better. drop razor You drop the razor. east You move east. You are in a shower stall. There isn't much room in here to do anything but the obvious. You can only move west. shower You wash up and feel quite refreshed. You step out of the shower and put on the last clean set of clothes you have. You are in your bathroom. A medicine cabinet hangs on the wall. Also here is a razor. You can move east and west. You are now ready to start your day. west You move west. This is your apartment. Things have gotten a little messy around here since the bitch left you. Dishes are piled high in the sink. Dirty laundry is scattered about. Also here is a polaroid camera and a vibrator. You can move north and east. look in couch The couch is dirty and showing obvious wear. There are rips in various spots and the stuffing is coming out in a few places. There appears to be a slice of pizza sticking out from under one of the cushions. A slice of pizza is inside the couch. get pizza You take a slice of pizza from the couch. north You move north. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. Chelsea is here. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. south You move south. This is a dead end street. There's nothing much going on here beside the wind. Leroy is here. You can move north and west. give pizza to leroy Leroy snatches the pizza out of your hands and swallows it whole. The slice isn't half way down his throaght when his face turns a nasty shade of green and he goes into convulsions. Leroy collapses and is dead before his head hits the floor. north You move north. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. east You move east. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. Chelsea is here. You can move north, east, south and west. screw chelsea You take Chelsea back to your apartment where she strips down to a garter belt. Surprisingly, her body is sexier than you would have thought for a middle aged hooker. She pulls your pants down around your ankles, slides a rubber on you, hops on your cock and rides you like a pig in a rodeo. The two of you fuck like cats and dogs fight. A great time was had by all. You are a stud! Chelsea walks off to rest for a while. get vibrator You pick up the vibrator. north You move north. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. north You move north. This is a street that runs North and South. Not much going on here. Bum is here. You can move north and south. north You move north. This is the lobby of the Filthburgh Business Suites Motel. You can move north and south. north You move north. This is the front desk of the motel Pat is here. You can move south and west. west You move west. This is the VIP Suite of the Filthburgh Business Suites Motel. Also here is a nightstand. Janine is here. You can only move east. kiss janine Awww. Thank you honey. But I STILL like the real thing better! Janine gets up, crosses the room to the nightstand and begins emptying her purse into the top drawer. She then lies down on the bed and turns on the TV. After a moment or two she nods off. open nightstand You open the nightstand. Some batteries are inside the nightstand. get batteries You take some batteries from the nightstand. put batteries in vibrator You put the batteries inside the vibrator. east You move east. This is the front desk of the motel Pat is here. You can move south and west. south You move south. This is the lobby of the Filthburgh Business Suites Motel. You can move north and south. south You move south. This is a street that runs North and South. Not much going on here. Bum is here. You can move north and south. south You move south. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. east You move east. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. north You move north. You are on the front porch of the Robinsons house. The Robinsons have gone away to Florida for a week leaving behind their gorgeous 18 year old daughter Amanda. Amanda is here. You can only move south. screw amanda Amanda looks at you and says, "Now things are really gonna get shakin'. Let's go stud", and leads you into her bedroom. This is Amanda's bedroom. You can only move south. Amanda grabs the vibrator from you, turns it on, lifts her skirt and immediately goes to town. You sit back and watch as she cums about 90 times consecutively. Finally she calls you over and rips your clothes off. You barely have enough time to put on a rubber before the two of you engage in insane sexual positions that would make a contortionist blush. A great time was had by all. You are a stud! Amanda walks off to rest for a while. south You move south. You are on the front porch of the Robinsons house. The Robinsons have gone away to Florida for a week leaving behind their gorgeous 18 year old daughter Amanda. You can move north and south. south You move south. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. south You move south. This is a dead end street. There's nothing much going on here beside the wind. Leroy is here. You can move north and west. west You move west. This is the old town stables. You used to love to come here as a kid and watch the horses fuck. These days, though, the stables are shut down due to lack of interest in horseback riding and a growth of interest in stupid computer games. Also here is a horse whip. Tanya is here. You can only move east. get horse whip You pick up the horse whip. east You move east. This is a dead end street. There's nothing much going on here beside the wind. Leroy is here. You can move north and west. north You move north. There is nothing of interest here. Marlene is here. You can move north, east and south. screw marlene You take Marlene back to your apartment and whip her ass plenty with the horse whip, making her whinny like a horse. Just as she cums for the 10th time from the excitement, you mount her and ride her into the sunset (so to speak) Marlene walks off to rest for a while. She seems to have forgotten something. look This is your apartment. Things have gotten a little messy around here since the bitch left you. Dishes are piled high in the sink. Dirty laundry is scattered about. Also here is a polaroid camera and a pair of handcuffs. You can move north and east. get handcuffs You pick up the pair of handcuffs. north You move north. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. You can move north, east and south. south You move south. This is a dead end street. There's nothing much going on here beside the wind. Leroy is here. You can move north and west. west You move west. This is the old town stables. You used to love to come here as a kid and watch the horses fuck. These days, though, the stables are shut down due to lack of interest in horseback riding and a growth of interest in stupid computer games. Tanya is here. You can only move east. screw tanya You Handcuff Tanya to a post in the stable and fuck her long and hard from behind. Afterwards, you remove the cuffs and she walks off to rest for a while. east You move east. This is a dead end street. There's nothing much going on here beside the wind. Leroy is here. You can move north and west. north You move north. There is nothing of interest here. You can move north, east and south. east You move east. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. east You move east. You are at the East end of Front Street. Also here is a pay phone. You can move north, east and west. north You move north. Being the regular that you are here, you are greeted with a cheer as you walk through the door. The bartender pours you a shot of whiskey and runs off to tend to his bartending duties. Also here is a shot of whiskey. Dave and Jen are here. You can only move south. get shot You pick up the shot of whiskey. south You move south. You are at the East end of Front Street. Also here is a pay phone. You can move north, east and west. call bar You drop a quarter into the phone and dial the number to Neener's Pub. The line rings once and a voice at the other end says, "Neener's. Can I help you?" ask for dave The voice asks, "Who may I say is calling?" say his wife You hear the the bartender tell Dave that his wife is on the phone and you can almost picture the look on his face when you hear Dave spit out the drink he was just taking a sip of. "Holy Christ! How'd she get the number here? How'd she even know I was here? Tell her I just left 5 minutes ago and that I was on my way home when I left. Jen, Baby, I have to get going." The bartender relays the bogus message to you and you hang up the phone. west You move west. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. You can move north, east and south. north You move north. This is a street that runs North and South. Not much going on here. Bum is here. You can move north and south. give whiskey to bum The bum snatched the drink from your hands, almost spilling it, and throws it back in a single gulp. No sooner is it gone than he looks at you, pukes on himself and passes out against the wall. look at bum The bum is passed out against the wall. Leave him alone. Bum is wearing a raggedy old coat. look in coat A french tickler is inside the raggedy old coat. get french tickler You take a french tickler from the raggedy old coat. wear french tickler You put on the french tickler. south You move south. There is nothing of interest here. You can move north, east and south. east You move east. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. east You move east. You are at the East end of Front Street. Also here is a pay phone. You can move north, east and west. north You move north. Being the regular that you are here, you are greeted with a cheer as you walk through the door. The bartender pours you a shot of whiskey and runs off to tend to his bartending duties. Jen is here. You can only move south. screw jen Jen looks at you and says, 'The bartender told me that was you on the phone. Thanks a million for getting rid of that asshole for me." She smiles brightly at you and the bartender gives you a wink. You take her back to your apartment and screw like monkeys on the couch. Jen walks off to rest for a while. north You move north. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. east You move east. You are at the East end of Front Street. Also here is a pay phone. You can move north, east and west. east You move east. This is a seedy little adult toy shop. All sorts of videos and unimaginable devices line the walls. There is a sign on the front door. You can only move west. read sign *SPECIAL* FREE butt plugs today! Get them while they last! get butt plug You pick up the butt plug. wear butt plug You put on the butt plug. west You move west. You are at the East end of Front Street. Also here is a pay phone. You can move north, east and west. west You move west. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. south You move south. This is your apartment. Things have gotten a little messy around here since the bitch left you. Dishes are piled high in the sink. Dirty laundry is scattered about. Also here is a polaroid camera. You can move north and east. get camera You pick up the polaroid camera. north You move north. You are on the street in front of your apartment. The sun is shining, birds are singing and you have a pocket full of hard-on. You feel pretty confident about yourself for the first time in weeks. You can move north, east, south and west. west You move west. There is nothing of interest here. You can move north, east and south. north You move north. This is a street that runs North and South. Not much going on here. Bum is here. You can move north and south. north You move north. This is the lobby of the Filthburgh Business Suites Motel. You can move north and south. north You move north. This is the front desk of the motel Pat is here. You can move south and west. say interested The Desk Clerk leads you to Room 100. You are in a medium size suite. There is a bed here large enough to accommodate quite a number of people. You can only move south. The Desk Clerk quickly undresses you, and pulls out a horrifyingly huge cucumber and is about to cram it up your ass until she notices your padlocked butt plug. "Well, I guess we won't be using this after all," she says, tossing the cuke to the side. Instead, she strips down to nothing and the pair of you engage in the most insane monkey sex you have ever had the good fortune of experiencing. You just fucked the living shit out of the Desk Clerk. A great time was had by all. You are a stud! The Desk Clerk walks off to rest for a while. south You move south. This is the front desk of the motel You can move north, east, south and west. east You move east. The name of the room says it all, I think. Amanda, Chelsea, Pat, Jen, Tanya and Marlene are here. You can only move west. have an orgy You engage in the most outrageous acts of sex humanly imaginable with this room full of beautiful women. The experience lasts for hours on end. Suddenly, in the heat of the moment, an idea hits you: What better way to get back at that cunt of an ex-girlfriend than to send a picture of the orgy, with you in the middle, to her? Luckily, you have your trusty polaroid camera with you. You put it on top of the dresser in the corner, adjust the focus, find your shot and set the timer. You get back in the mix just in time for the camera to go off. You now have a picture suitable for framing, and one to send to the bitch.